I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
