trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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