Umm I'm too high to move.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
