Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
