Ambien. No doubt about it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
