Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
