Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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