Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
