I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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