Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
