We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need to calm my uterus...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
