Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
