Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
