I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize