just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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