I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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