Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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