R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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