ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
