you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Vodka?
Forever.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
