Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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