You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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