Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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