YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
