Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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