Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize