I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
