Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
