just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
