I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
