you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
