On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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