thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
