His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
