Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
