Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
