His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
