My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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