I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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