I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she peed on how many people?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
