she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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