Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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