Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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