there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
