i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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