I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
