So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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