vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
