you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
