I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
im having a threesome with these popsicles
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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