I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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