scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
