Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
No I am not eating basil off your cock
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
