ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
