we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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