dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
