Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
