You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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