i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
