Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
my poor anus
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
the raccoons are back...
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