I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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