The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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