I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
