Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
