Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
