Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
