Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I didn't notice because vodka
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize