can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
