Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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