Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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