yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
