Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
