this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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